


Miraculous Except Adrien is an Insufferable Ultra-Weeaboo

by El_Donut



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, The purest crack, dont write on two hours of sleep, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24859315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/El_Donut/pseuds/El_Donut
Summary: Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this.PROFESSIONAL REVIEWS:“Get out of my fucking house.” - My Neighbour“I’m seriously rock-hard right now.” - Vladimir Putin“Zimbabwe’s greatest fucking author.” - Robert Mugabe“I like story! Is very good! Now go to gulag!” - Joseph Stalin“You are such a disappointment.” - My Father
Kudos: 24





	Miraculous Except Adrien is an Insufferable Ultra-Weeaboo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pillager_satanael](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pillager_satanael/gifts).



Adrien settled into the computer chair.

“You didn’t answer my question, Adrien.” Plagg said. “I was asking if you think I need to keep a closer eye on you.”

Before responding, he briefly stood up and readjusted the Thicc Ladybug waifu pillow he used as a seat cushion. He sat back down.

“You don't need to wowwy about me, Plagg-chan”.

The Kwami jerked in mid air as Plagg suppressed a jolt of rage. Followed by a pang of regret. This was his fault. When he and Adrien were playing foosball at his suggestion, the boy had accidentally bumped his ring into the table, damaging the Miraculous. Unlike the peacock, which caused physical damage, this was more mental in nature. 

More specifically, it had damaged the ‘not a fucking weirdo’ part of his brain. It had all been downhill from there.

Adrien removed his special-ed helmet, revealing his matted, bleach-fucked blonde hair and surgically attached cat ear headband. He kicked back and booted up his Netflix account.

He scrolled through his ‘Kawai-guy’ playlist, which was filled with colourful thumbnails of large-breasted anime girls of all ‘ages’.

Of course he couldn't just watch something normal, he just had to go for the weirdest, most fucking obscure ones with names like “Oniisan nan da kara Gaman shinasai.” He also insisted on watching them in Japanese, with no subtitles. He said it was ‘more authentic.’ He didn't even speak Japanese.

Adrien selected one and hit play. The intro song started up. If Plagg wasn’t incorporeal he’d be bashing his head against a fucking wall right now. The impossibly loud Japanese pop/rock theme with the occasional poorly-pronounced english phrases reverberated around the room. Adrien fucking sang along. He even MISPRONOUNCED THE ENGLISH PARTS along with the singer.

Plagg would rather he just watched fucking hentai. It was getting hard to concentrate. He started to get worried: if he… lost control and cataclysmed the building, would Adrien survive? Or would he have to finish him off afterwards?

“Hey, maybe turn the volume down, kid?” He said, as patiently as he could.

Adrien looked up from the screen. He gave the Kwami wide puppy-eyes, except they were all bloodshot and fucked up.

“I’m...s..sowwy Plagg Sempai”

“No.” Plagg said sharply.

“P...p..pwease-”

“Stop it. Stop talking like that.” He didn't know Kwamis could get nauseous. But sure enough….

“Pwease don't pwunish me Plagg sempai…. I'll be gwood.. 0w0”

Plagg snapped. “Jesus-fucking-Christ Adrien, if you don't-”

He was interrupted by an emergency broadcast. An Akuma had been sighted nearby. Adrien turned and looked sharply at the news, pointing a finger in an exaggerated gesture: “NANI???!!!!”

As Plagg watched the news, he took a moment to consider how much he hated himself. 

Adrien jerked upright, throwing the chair backwards. The Akuma was at the Eiffel tower (because where else would it be???). Adrien faced Plagg. He gave an over-serious nod, turned, and sprinted towards the door with both of his arms at his sides, sticking out behind him…..like fucking Naruto.

Plagg sighed. Panic was welling up within him, he had never been more uncomfortable in his very, very long life. Suddenly, a happy thought came to him and he felt some relief.

“Haha I'll just fucking cataclysm myself.” He smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah the 5 children in my basement won’t shut the fuck up


End file.
